Couple Sleeping Positions and What They Mean for a Relationship

When we are asleep, we are in a state of sub-consciousness. In this state, we can discover a deeper meaning to our relationship by interpreting couple sleeping positions and what they mean.  

Consider our sleeping positions the body language of our inner being. By looking further into the meanings that sleep positions have, we find hidden gems of information and what it means for you and your partner.

From this knowledge, we can make conscious efforts to improve our connection or deepen emotional bonds. This, in turn, creates a more meaningful and centered relationship.


If you are familiar with these sleep positions, perhaps you can gain a bit of insight into your relationship. From spooning to back kissing, it’s all covered here.

There are also some top tips you can apply in your relationship once you discover the significant meaning to couple sleeping positions.


On the topic of couple sleeping positions and what they mean, spooning is one of the most recognized positions that couples sleep in.

It is where one partner takes a protective posture with the other. In a cuddling manner, the big spoon is on the outside and the little spoon is on the inside.  

According to one psychological study, spooning is a sleeping position that 1/5th or 18% of couples sleep in.

Spooning is commonly a position assumed by couples during the first few years of their relationship or marriage.

It is a non-sexual position but sometimes leads to sex. This is because each partner feels safe and comforted by the other and both feel secure in their relationship.

  Big Spoon

The big spoon, or outside spoon position is one that stems from a desire to protect the other partner. You take care of your partner and keep them safe and happy.

Subconsciously, you admire your partner and are willing to take on any threat to you or your partner, even during sleep.

  Little Spoon

The partner that takes the role of little spoon or inside spoon has the desire to feel safe and protected by the other partner. You look at your partner as a shield, deflecting any danger that may occur.

Subconsciously you feel safe exposing your vulnerability and you want to reinforce your role as requiring your partner’s protection.

  Chasing Spoon

The chasing spoon resembles the spoon position, but one partner has moved out of the traditional position and further away from their mate.  

Do you find yourself, or your mate, in the chasing spoon position? It could mean that the partner moving away wants to be pursued by the other.

Additionally, it could mean that the partner that has moved out of the traditional spooning position needs some space in the relationship.

It could also mean that the “chasing” spoon wants more attention and affection from their partner.  


If one, or both of you sleep in the starfish position, it could mean that you need some space in your relationship. When we are asleep, our subconscious takes over.

Couples convey through their sleep positions what their subconscious self is trying to say.  

It may not come as a surprise that this position could mean that you or your mate need some space in the relationship.

When considering couple sleeping positions and what they mean, the partner in the starfish position takes up most of the bed. This shows that they need more space in the relationship.

Do a quick analysis of your current emotional bond. Has there been a drastic change in the amount of time you are spending together? Could you use a bit of alone time to recharge and regenerate your emotional bonds with your partner? By observing couple sleeping positions and interpreting what they mean, couples can work together to increase intimacy and strengthen the relationship. 

By identifying and addressing these tell-tale traits, couples can work together to evolve their connection

You can begin to address and overcome whatever is standing in the way of gaining more intimacy with your partner.


  All Tangled Up

Also known as The Lovers, it is a sleeping position where you are face to face with your partner, intertwined for the entire sleep period. 

It is a very intimate sleeping position and signifies that you and your mate are emotionally bonded. You are close to each other, not just when you are awake, but asleep as well.  

Typically, this is the couples sleeping position of choice in the first stages of the relationship.

All Tangled Up signifies that both partners are developing deep bonds with each other and do not want to be apart.

It demonstrates that each partner feels safe in the relationship and appreciates every moment they have with each other. It is young love’s most common sleeping position.

  Back to Back – No Contact

Also known as liberty lovers, this is when you and your hubby are sleeping back to back, with no touching. This could mean that subconsciously, there are elements in your relationship that are drifting apart. 

When you show someone your back, typically, you are walking away, or turning away. If you are wondering about couple sleeping positions and what they mean, this information could potentially save your relationship.

Are there underlying issues in your relationship that are going unnoticed or are not getting enough attention? Are you thinking about leaving a situation or partner due to circumstances in, or out, of your control? Sleeping back to back, with no touching, is an example of couples losing intimacy in their relationship and is always attributed to underlying factors in the relationship.  

Talk to your partner about what might be bothering them when you notice this sleeping pattern.

Engage in some touching, like a backstroke, or put an arm over them to bring back tenderness and intimacy.

  Back to Back – With Contact

Also known as back kissing, this couple’s sleeping position has a little bit of intimacy and a little bit of space in it. This can be the perfect balance for some couples and ultimately can be most comfortable for both.

When you are back kissing, you are letting your partner know you are emotionally connected to them by way of touch.

However, the fact remains that you are facing away from your partner. This could be a sign of strength in your relationship but can also resemble the need for independence.  

Perhaps look a little closer at your relationship and see if there are elements that have some impact on your conscious time together.

  Face to Face

Do you and your partner sleep face to face with no contact? This could mean that there is something you need to talk about or that you require deeper communication within your relationship.

When couples sleep face to face it signifies there are aspects in the relationship that need to be addressed. Perhaps have some open communication about anything that has been on your mind or that has been putting stress on the relationship.

Sleeping face to face can point out that the two individuals are incredibly close and genuinely satisfied in their relationship.

It could also mean that one, or both, of you, require some more intimacy and communication. This could be a sign of wanting to develop deeper bonds with your partner, but don’t know how to address the matter.

  The Hug

This position is also known as The Lovers Knot and is a couple’s sleeping position that maintains a hugging position for the first little while. Eventually, both partners separate during sleep.  

Couples who have adapted to this sleep position have a very intimate relationship. It is built on love and mutual respect for each other’s independence.

It is also a sign of sexual activity, even though the partners eventually separate during sleep.

Is the hug your sleep position of choice? You can generally gauge your relationship and its health and emotional intimacy to be at a great level then.

While these things are important in any relationship, so is the desire for independence and respect for this need. The Hug also illustrates mutual respect for one another and an understanding of each other’s wants and needs.


Take subconscious queues from looking at how you sleep with your partner.

You can use that information in your conscious moments with your loved one to better understand each other and, therefore, continue building your relationship.

It’s important to also understand that comfort ultimately comes in many forms. When we are awake or asleep. We can use the body language of our subconscious mind to interpret deeper messages.

This information could perhaps reconnect the emotional bonds you have with your partner. Maybe even spice things up in the bedroom by trying out some new sleeping positions and see where they lead from there.  

The main thing is that your relationship continuously develops and progresses while addressing mutual needs and desires that everyone has.

Taking suggestions from sleeping positions can help you build deeper bonds with your partner. It can also assist with getting a good night of rest in comfort and love.

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